Art by Jacob, Words by Hunter
Dear (Employer),
It is scarcely in my power to describe the dire situation at hand. Hell’s forces have overrun the kingdom of heaven and erected infernal shrines that spew forth all manner of wild evil.
It is scarcely in my power to describe the dire situation at hand. Hell’s forces have overrun the kingdom of heaven and erected infernal shrines that spew forth all manner of wild evil.
I seek Diablo, Lord of Terror, whose present siege emboldens him to move against the world of men. If nothing at (Name of business) seems unusual, then my efforts to contain his advance have yet succeeded. The charge before me is great, yet my morale erodes like sand beneath a raging tide; in recent levels, I have gained only passive abilities and runes for powers I do not use. My inventory is incessantly full and I’m so bored of slotting gems. I need your aid: Mountain Dew, t.p, not that single ply crap but the one with the bears, and a five-thousand dollar raise just might do. Should I fail, the horizon will vanish behind mountains of burning dead. Rivers will run red with blood and boil at their own ugliness. In a sleepless march, Diablo’s army will advance upon the Earth until, at last, they come for (Name of business). For the sake of humanity, I cannot work today. But I am not a hero. No. I go in the name of justice, whose name is Tyrael, who fell to Earth in the name of righteousness whose name is (Your name). Bolstered by your unwavering support, I shall slay the Lord of Hell and return to the office Monday to complete (Task you were working on). If I do not, then Diablo has triumphed, and even God cannot save us.
Sincerely,
(Your name)
P.S: I left my headphones in the break room. Maybe someone could see about getting those over here. Mike, or Jared. Sheradon maybe. He’s never doing anything.
Sincerely,
(Your name)
P.S: I left my headphones in the break room. Maybe someone could see about getting those over here. Mike, or Jared. Sheradon maybe. He’s never doing anything.
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